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Gays
and The Barbershop
Larry
L Walker / Baltimore OUT Loud
The barbershop has played a pivotal role
in black male socialization for as long as it has existed. Men come
bi-weekly, weekly, and even daily to have their heads maintained and to
exchange information. The barbershop conversations range from politics
and relationships, to current events and religion. These
lively and energetic forums are integral to the black male experience
due to the fact that they offer a safe space for intellectual debate,
which is important when forming one’s worldview. Barbershops are one of
a few place where heterosexual black males feel comfortable engaging
one another in manner that is affectionate without it jeopardizing
their masculinity. During campaign
season local politicians will make the rounds to barbershops because
they are seen as hotbeds for information in the black community. The
absence of women and the predominance of heterosexual black males is
what makes the barbershop such an attractive place for loyalists; you
don’t have to color your language to honor the diversity in room, so it
is a place where your "man’s man" can cut loose. Unfortunately, its
their cutting loose that makes going to the barbershop a daunting
experience for many same gender loving men of color. For
it is in the barbershop that gay men are confronted with the most
spirited opposition to their realities. I can remember being around ten
years of age when I first felt that the barbershop was not the place
for me. While I wasn’t gay identified, the machismo radiating from the
building was just too overwhelming. This was the first time I would
ever go to the barber alone, each time before I had some companion to
distract me from my discomfort. What
made going to the barber so awful to me is that I could always rely on
conversation about someone being a sissy or a fag, which frightened me
because I had been called both by people who wanted to hurt me. So to
me the barbershop represented a place full of people that would
potentially try to harm me, and to this day I hate going to the
barbershop. I am not alone in my
disdain for this popular black male meeting place. When confronted with
the need to get a haircut millions of gay black mean gasp for air and
bite the bullet. Some are fortunate enough to attend gay barbershops,
but most of us have to deal. Yet who is at fault for this? My
initial reaction is to blame the hegemonic group in the barbershop for
their messages that are often homophobic and misogynist. It is
irresponsible to spew hate-filled language, especially when you may
very well be offending some of the people around you. It is the
responsibility of adults to make sure that their language is
constructive and appropriate. Yet,
I can’t lay the complete blame on them for this is to be expected. When
you only have one demographic represented in an open forum you get one
perspective. It is for this reason that some of the responsibility
belongs to the offended. Yes, us gays who patronize these places have a
responsibility for our own reality. As
a black man I would never sit in an establishment where a group of
white men were putting forth misconceptions about what it is to be
black without speaking up in defense of myself. So why should a gay man
just sit idly by and listen to homophobic rhetoric in a place where he
is spending his hard-earned money? The
responsibility is a dual one that unfortunately may actually lie
heavily on the victim. Many people must have their perception
questioned before they can look at their views critically enough to
change them. So if this transformation is going to happen then it will
have to be a black gay man to bring it into the forefront. I
know that this doesn’t sound fair and it may not be fair, but it is the
reality of the situation. The barbershop experience is integral to the
black male experience, not just the black heterosexual male experience.
I am sure that I was not the only ten-year old boy too scared to get a
haircut, due to the hateful rhetoric of adult men. We
have a responsibility to these boys to speak up, assert ourselves, and
question the standard that is being placed forth. I guarantee it will
make for a better, more enjoyable barbershop experience.
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